HONOR by Andi Jaxon & AJ Alexander releases June 27th!
Logan has been running from a death bed promise for years, but he’s finally decided to face his fears and claim his forever. Now all he has to do is convince her to take another chance on love.
Katie buried her husband and made peace with never finding a love that strong again. But when a smooth talking cowboy asks her to dance, fireworks explode, leaving them both desperate for more.
However, their happiness is darkened by a secret – the secret of who he really is.
CHAPTER ONE
LOGAN
Have you ever been chased by a ghost? Well, I have been running from one for the last four years. However, unlike most ghosts, this one has been chasing me toward something, or should I say someone, not away from them.
“Corpsman! We need the Corpsman!”
That’s my queue. I go running from behind the brush. This isn’t my first brush with death this tour, and I’m sure it won’t be my last.
I finally reach my team, yes team. I am not just any Corpsman, I belong to the Naval SWCC Team 5. I thought I was tough shit, but little did I know, I didn’t know shit.
“Cowboy, It’s Cruise. He’s been hit pretty bad.”
Fuck, anyone but Cruise. You see, Cruise is my best friend and the husband to the love of my life. I don’t have time for that story right now, I’ve gotta save this fucker’s life. Not just for him, but for our girl.
“What the fuck, Cruise?! Your call sign wasn’t enough to make the ladies drop their panties? You had to go and get shot up, so you have some badass scars to add to the package?”
I try to make jokes, but man, there is a lot of fucking blood. I hear all the guys in the background trying to reassure him, telling him that he’s going to be alright and make it home to Katie.
“Make room, assholes! I need to work. Hot Hands, grab that tourniquet and wrap it around the top of his leg, we need to stop the bleeding. Stop staring at him like he’s gonna die. We’re all gonna get out of here and share a beer. Get your lazy ass over here and put some pressure on the wound. Someone find a fucking ETA on our EVAC. We should have been out of here already. What the fuck are they waiting for?”
I keep working on Cruise with the team’s help when Kasper grabs my shoulder to get my attention.
“I don’t want to hear a fucking thing unless it’s good news.”
Kasper gives me one of his shit-eating grins, “Well then, listen up, ETA is 2 minutes or less.”
“It’s about goddamn time! Let’s prep Cruise for transport.”
I keep shouting orders to all the guys and eventually, we get him all strapped in and ready for transport. As the transport is landing, Cruise grabs my hand.
“Cowboy…” Cruise whispers.
“Cruise, I need to get your dumb ass onto this chopper and back to Katie. Save your strength.”
“Logan. Listen to me.”
Fuck, I hate when he uses my name. He thinks he’s going to die, I WILL NOT let that happen.
“Ryan, whatever you’re going to say, save it. You are not going to die, I won’t let it happen. You will be back with Katie, showing all the ladies your scars in no time.” I try to chuckle, but I know he sees right through me.
“Alright, you win, but if for some reason I don’t. You better go and get our girl, you hear me? I would never trust her with anyone but you.”
They say you’ll know when it’s your time to go, well Ryan knew. He didn’t even make it off the chopper. I want to say I got off that chopper and did exactly what my best friend asked, but I did the exact opposite. I walked right into the CO’s office and asked for a transfer. I’ve been running from Ryan’s last wish, and the love of my life, ever since.
Now you’re all probably thinking ‘what asshole falls in love with his best friend’s wife’? Before you decide to tar and feather me, listen to the story. Ryan and I met when we entered BUDs training to become Navy SEALs. We both knew we wanted to join the Navy, so we joined right out of high school. We also happened to have the aptitude for the SEALs, so of course, we wanted to have the prestige that goes with it, not to mention the ladies.
We’re all given call signs at some point, mine was Cowboy given my southern twang, the need to call every female Darlin, and I wear a cowboy hat. Ol’ Ryan was called Cruise because he was a smooth operator with the ladies. In all honesty, all he had to do was smile, and they were begging him. Sometimes fighting to let him get into their pants, that is, except Katie.
We met Katie while we were at Jump School in San Diego, CA. She was born and raised there. She’s 5’4 with gorgeous blonde hair, grass green eyes, and curves for days. Yes, curves, she’s not a toothpick that I could clean my teeth with. She had meat on her bones, so I know that when I stick my dick in her pussy, I won’t bruise my hips. God, how I would dream about sinking between the dripping folds of her pussy and how she would taste if I ever got my mouth on her, but Katie only had eyes for Cruise. So, like any real man, I let my friend have his girl. After training, I tried to fuck her out of my system. However, I discovered no matter whose pussy I was in, I imagined it was Katie. So eventually, I concluded that I would just wait it out. Either I will find someone else to love, or my hand and I will become better acquainted.
Like any best friend, Ryan knew, but he never gave me a hard time about it. He respected my need to stay away, and I respected their relationship. I kept in touch with Ryan via email and letters when we were on rotations, but I just couldn’t bring myself to see them together. However, after a few years, I was finally assigned to the same unit as good ol’ Cruise. I don’t know if it was fate or if he was just tired of me hiding from him.
So just like that day, he has chased me back. There is no hiding any longer, destiny had me by the balls so to speak. After volunteering for every mission possible I had no choice but to come back to San Diego.
Now, here I am, drinking a beer at our favorite hangout, The Mission, finally ready to claim our girl. I haven’t seen Katie in almost eight years. I’ll be surprised if she remembers me, I hope she doesn’t because I shouldn’t look anything like the snot nose kid she met all those years ago.
“There she is,” I say to my buddy Charlie as I take a swig of my beer.
“Holy shit, you weren’t lying, she is a BIG girl.”
“Charlie. If you didn’t save my life a time or two, I would kill you right now.” I growl, “If I ever hear those goddamn words come out of your mouth again, I will break your face. Do you understand me, boy?”
I don’t have to yell. Charlie knows I’m serious. God, she is just as gorgeous as she was back then. There’s a sadness in her eyes now that wasn’t there before, but I’ll make that go away. Ryan gave me a job to do, and I plan to do it if it’s that last thing I do.
I chug the last of my beer and throw some money down on the table. I wink at Charlie and the rest of the guys, “Don’t wait up boys. I’m going to get my forever.”
CHAPTER TWO
KATIE
“Thank the stars it’s finally Friday!” I say as I hop into my car.
I point my car toward The Mission, not even bothering to stop at home to change clothes. It’s been a long week, and all I want is a cold beer and some good music. Miserably aware that I should probably be headed to the gym instead of the bar, but I don’t care. I need something to take the edge off. It’s been one hell of a week, overtime every day, usual bullying bullshit at work, insomnia, the shit never ends. Gotta love working in Payroll the week paychecks process.
Home Sweet Home.
I snag a stool at the bar and holler for Jimmy to grab me my usual. I swear no one else works here but him. He lived and breathed the Navy SEALs for most of his life, and now he lives and breathes this bar.
Jimmy grabs me a Coors from behind the bar. “Haven’t seen you around in a while, what’s new?”
“Same shit, different day. You know how it goes,” I tell him with a sad smirk while hunching over so I can rest my elbows on top of the bar.
“Would you do me the honor of sharing a dance with me?”
I turn around to see who the owner of that sexy bass is talking too, and I come face to face with a sexy, clean-cut cowboy, with medium brown hair and dark blue eyes. His shirt is open at the collar showing a tan, strong chest, and forearms, basically, he looks just like sex on a stick.
“I’m sorry, are you talking to me?” I’m seriously confused, he can’t be talking to me.
With a sexy tilt of mouth, he says, “Yes, ma’am.”
And the sexy cowboy holds his hand out to me.
There is no way he is serious about this. A guy like him cannot possibly want to dance with me, the fat chick. I look down at his hand and then look around him waiting for his buddies to jump out and start laughing.
He bends over slightly so he can look me in the eyes and says, with a smirk, “I don’t bite, often.”
I’m sure he notices my hesitation, but I can’t shake the feeling that this is a setup. Against my better judgment, I place my hand in his, and he pulls me onto the dance floor. He steps in close, places one hand on my lower back, wraps my other hand in his, and holds it up against his chest.
“Care to tell me your name, darlin’?”
“Wanna tell me yours first?”
“You can call me Cowboy, everybody does.”
“Uhh, I’m Katie,” I stammer, I never stammer.
For some reason, it’s hard to think past how good it feels to be pressed up against him, and his intoxicating smell of sea salt and leather invade all my senses.
“Did your friends dare you to dance with me or something?”
Cowboy stops mid-step to stare at me flabbergasted.
“Why would you think that?”
“Look at me. I have no business being in the same room with you, much less dancing this closely.”
I drop my gaze toward the floor to hide the tears threatening to fall.
It really has been a long week, I should have just gone home.
Cowboy drops my hand and lifts my chin,
“Katie, you are a beautiful woman. Any man should be proud to lead you across the dance floor.”
He uses his thumb to wipe away the tears that have begun to trickle slowly down my cheeks and then leans in to give me a gentle kiss on my forehead before attempting to continue our dance.
Can I just crawl under a rock and DIE right here?
“I’m sorry, I guess I’m more tired than I thought. I should go, thank you for the dance.”
I turn around to leave, but he’s quicker than I anticipated. He wraps both arms around my waist and pulls me tightly to his chest.
“Katie, if you tell me the name of the man that made you feel unworthy, I will gladly rearrange his face…”
I can tell by the anger I see flash in his dark blue eyes and the tension that begins to radiate from his body, that he honestly means what he said.
“It’s not one person specifically, but a lifetime of the same lesson being hammered into my head,” I whisper.
As I stare into his eyes, I can’t help but feel like I know him from somewhere.
With his hand still on my chin, Cowboy lowers his head to kiss me, and kiss me he does. I feel this kiss all the way down to my bones. It’s been a long time since any man has kissed me like this, not since Ryan died, and I am beginning to feel those deep-rooted desires that I thought were lost to me forever. It isn’t until I feel him pushing against my aching center that I realize he has wrapped my leg around his waist. I begin to grind my aching pussy into his hard cock, and we both groan with pleasure. Suddenly, I remember that we are standing in the middle of the local bar, so with herculean effort, I manage to pull myself away from him. Cowboy notices my shift and releases my leg to the ground.
“I’m sorry, Katie. I forgot where I was. How about that dance?” He cocks one eyebrow at me.
I burst out with a loud “HA!” at his apology. I can’t remember when I have ever held a man’s attention, except for Ryan’s, long enough for him to forget where he is. I am a size 16, on a good day, I’m not the type of girl men lust after, much less damn near fuck in the middle of the dance floor.
“Did I say something funny, darlin’?”
He looks confused. He must not be used to woman laughing at him. Well, he’s being funny now.
The door opens, and some tall busty blonde walks in, turning every head in the bar, including Cowboys’. The new girl looks around and catches Cowboys’ eye. She gives him the patented “come hither” smile before walking to the bar. I better make my escape before I embarrass myself any further. I exhale loudly.
“You see, that is the kind of girl that men kiss and forget everything else around them. Not girls like me.”
I feel the tension return to Cowboy’s body as I attempt to pull away from him again, he takes a firm grip of my hands and wraps his arm tightly around my lower back, pulling me closer to him and fixing his intense eyes on mine.
“What I see when I look at that girl, is someone who needs to eat a bacon cheeseburger. She is looking for a plaything to beg at her feet. Neither one of those things interests me. You, on the other hand, are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. You have curves that I want to explore with my tongue. I’m betting I can have an intelligent conversation with you while drinking a beer and eating. Yes, eating food, not that healthy shit ladies try to pass off as food nowadays.”
This man seriously wants to make me cry like a baby, I can’t help but stare up at him with a mixture of fear, hope, and longing. The last time I felt those things I was about 40 pounds lighter, and I was staring down into Ryan’s eyes as he was kneeling in front of me, asking me to marry him. I never thought I would be feeling these things again, is this alright or is this too soon? I don’t have time to contemplate all these questions before Cowboy grabs my hands and rests them on his chest once again. I can feel my hands trembling, and I’m sure he can too, but he doesn’t comment on it.
“Will you come with me, Katie? Get a cup of coffee or dinner? Anything?”
“Maybe another time. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not invisible.”
For the first time, in well forever, I’m not the wallflower watching her friends have fun and enjoy life. I’m out here on the dance floor living life to its fullest. Cowboy helped me be the girl I have always wanted to be, even if it was only for tonight. This time when I step back, he lets me go.
“Yeah, maybe,” he says with a sad smile. “It won’t be for a while though, I’m a SEAL and only have a few days of liberty before training.”
“Oh.”
Not again.
I can feel the terror, pain, and heartbreak all over again. However, the one surprising emotion I feel is sadness.
“I’m sorry, I can’t see you again. Ever.”
“That’s a real shame, sweetheart, because I would really like to see a whole lot more of you.”
He has got to be fucking kidding me! If he thinks he can give the big girl some attention and get a quickie, he has another thing coming. I can’t decide if I want to slap him or kiss him right now. I am going to settle for giving him a piece of my mind.
“Listen here, big boy, I am not some floozy that fucks random guys she meets at the bar. I’m not going to be some notch on your bedpost, a story to tell your boys, or a quick blow before a mission. If you’re looking for a wet hole to stick your dick in, I suggest looking elsewhere. Start the conversation with ‘I’m a SEAL’ and watch those panties drop. The blonde at the bar looks interested.”
I quickly turn and head back to the bar. Jimmy is standing there with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“I don’t want to hear a goddamn word. I will get you next time, I only had one beer.”
Jimmy chuckles in response, “Your beer is on me.”
He hands me my purse and jacket as I head out the door. I can hear Cowboy’s buddies laughing hysterically at one of the pool tables as the door swings shut behind me. Thank god the door swings shut before the tears start to fall.
Meet The Authors:
Andi Jaxon
Raised all over the country, I’m an interesting mix of East Coast meets West Coast with a little bit of Southern thrown in, just for good measure. I married a sexy man in uniform who let me spawn and am now raising a mutinous army of hell raisers that I created myself, all while he defends our country. I drink too much coffee until it’s late enough to drink too much wine and am sexually frustrated for your freedom. If you see me online, I’m probably sitting in a closet, hiding from my kids.
Want to know more about Andi Jaxon? Follow her on social media or subscribe to her mailing list to receive the latest information on new releases, sales, and more!
AJ Alexander
Fluent in sarcasm, Supernatural, and song lyrics, I like talking to people and finding what makes them tick, though that probably has to do with the Psychology degree. I’m up before the sun because my kids don’t sleep, chugging tea and coffee to keep my eyes open and my brain semi functional. Being married to a man in uniform means I’ve lived a lot of places, survived seeing my husband for half the amount of time I’ve been married, and spent a lot of time raising my kids alone.
I love to write messed up psychos with lots of angst, happily ever afters that have to be worked for. Women with sass and backbone, men with a twisted hero complex and the need to control are my favorite to read as well as write.
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